Specialist Equestrian Tailor & Outfitter

t: +44 (0) 1200 445 137

Humorous Sayings

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When looking for a product code please click the image below for full details...

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Here are just a few sayings we can add to your garments:

  • Life without my pony… I don’t think so!
  • I`m not fat, I`m in show condition!
  • Caution this mare kicks!
  • Treat me like a thoroughbred and I won`t  be a nag!
  • I may as well do it cos I`m gonna get blamed anyway!
  • High maintenance but worth it!
  • Saw it wanted it threw a tantrum and got it!
  • Whatever it is... The answer is NO!
  • Born to ride… Forced to work!
  • Born to ride…Forced to go to school!
  • Sponsored by Mum
  • Sponsored by Dad
  • Sponsored by Mum & Dad
  • Sponsored by Husband
  • Here I am...Now what are your other 2 wishes?
  • Split personality... 1% Angel - 99% Devil
  • Practically perfect in every way!
  • Trust me... I`m perfect!
  • Moody mare
  • It wasn`t me!
  • I don`t need your attitude...I have one of my own!
  • I can only please one person a day...Today isn`t your day, tomorrow doesn`t look good either!
  • I didn`t ask to be a Princess... But if the crown fits!   (includes crown)
  • A woman only needs 2 animals...The horse of her dreams and a jackass to pay for it!
  • ATTENTION- How to become a millionaire horse owner ...Start with 2 million!
  • WANTED- Good looking single male with horse box...Please send photo of horsebox
  • WANTED-New wife...No equestrians please!
  • MISSING-Wife and Jack Russell...Reward for Jack Russell   (can be any breed of dog)
  • MISSING- Husband and Jack Russell...Reward for Jack Russell  (can be any breed of dog)
  • I`m having a nice day… Don`t spoil it!
  • Am I self centred… Or is it just me!
  • I`ve upped my standards…Now up yours!
  • I never apologise… Sorry that`s just how I am!
  • Money is the root of all evil… Send me £5 for more information!
  • Everyone is entitled to my opinion!
  • I`m not bossy… I just know what you should be doing!
  • I’m not arguing…I’m explaining why I’m right!
  • CAUTION- Legally blonde!
  • Woman of Teflon seeks man of steel for non stick relationship!
  • I didn`t do it… And I`ll never do it again!
  • Actually I`m quite humble… Which is rare for people with my talent!
  • If you want a stable relationship... Get a horse!
  • I need someone really bad...Are you really bad?
  • I`m not a complete idiot...Some parts are missing!
  • If at first you do succeed...Try not to look astonished!
  • Due to budget cuts...The light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off!
  • I have the body of a God...Buddha!
  • With a body like mine… Who needs hair?
  • Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult!
  • WARNING-Horses can seriously damage your wealth!
  • Mummy`s Boy
  • Daddy`s Girl
  • Simple country Boy
  • Simple country
  • Take my advice… I don`t need it!
  • Ride it like you stole it!
  • Country Bumpkin
  • Young Farmer
  • On stud duty
  • Fine Filly
  • Unpaid help
  • I`d rather be Riding!
  • I`d rather be Fishing!
  • I`d rather be shooting!
  • I`d rather be drinking!
  • Drink Triple… See Double… Act  Single!
  • Pedigree Bitch!
  • No Pressure!
  • Real girls ride!
  • Nobody listens to me until I fart!
  • Warning-Dangerous gases below!
  • Incontinence hotline… Can you please hold!
  • Wink... I`ll do the rest!
  • Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder!
  • If you can`t dazzle `em with brilliance...Blind `em with bullshit!
  • Bucked off!
  • Don`t cha wish your girlfriend could ride like me!
  • Men are idiots… And I married their King!
  • Constipated people don`t give a crap!
  • Hillbillies love it in the hay!
  • I may be a cruel heartless bitch… But I`m damn good at it!
  • Exotic bird… On the hunt for a cockatoo!
  • Heaven is… 16 hands between your legs!
  • I want to be just like Barbie… That bitch has everything!
  • If I wanted to hear from an arsehole… I`d fart!
  • Sorry guys...Size does matter!
  • There are no small penises...Just big vaginas!
  • If you smoke after sex, you`re doing it to fast!
  • Who lit the fuse on your tampon?
  • To all you virgins...Thanks for nothing!
  • If sex is a pain in the ass, then you`re doing it wrong!
  • If you don`t believe in oral sex...Keep your mouth shut!
  • Impotence...Nature`s way of saying “No hard feelings”!
  • Practice safe sex...Go screw yourself!
  • Young chick seeks old cock!
  • It`s not the length of the wand, but the magic in the stick!
  • I`m so gay… I can`t think straight!