Humorous Sayings

Here are just a few sayings we can add to your garments:

• Life without my pony… I don’t think so!
• I`m not fat, I`m in show condition!
• Caution this mare kicks!
• Treat me like a thoroughbred and I won`t  be a nag!
• I may as well do it cos I`m gonna get blamed anyway!
• High maintenance but worth it!
• Saw it wanted it threw a tantrum and got it!
• Whatever it is... The answer is NO!
• Born to ride… Forced to work!
• Born to ride…Forced to go to school!
• Sponsored by Mum
• Sponsored by Dad
• Sponsored by Mum & Dad
• Sponsored by Husband
• Here I am...Now what are your other 2 wishes?
• Split personality... 1% Angel - 99% Devil
• Practically perfect in every way!
• Trust me... I`m perfect!
• Moody mare
• It wasn`t me!
• I don`t need your attitude...I have one of my own!
• I can only please one person a day...Today isn`t your day, tomorrow doesn`t look good either!
• I didn`t ask to be a Princess... But if the crown fits!   (includes crown)
• A woman only needs 2 animals...The horse of her dreams and a jackass to pay for it!
• ATTENTION- How to become a millionaire horse owner ...Start with 2 million!
• WANTED- Good looking single male with horse box...Please send photo of horsebox
• WANTED-New wife...No equestrians please!
• MISSING-Wife and Jack Russell...Reward for Jack Russell   (can be any breed of dog)
• MISSING- Husband and Jack Russell...Reward for Jack Russell  (can be any breed of dog)
• I`m having a nice day… Don`t spoil it!
• Am I self centred… Or is it just me!
• I`ve upped my standards…Now up yours!
• I never apologise… Sorry that`s just how I am!
• Money is the root of all evil… Send me £5 for more information!
• Everyone is entitled to my opinion!
• I`m not bossy… I just know what you should be doing!
• I’m not arguing…I’m explaining why I’m right!
• CAUTION- Legally blonde!
• Woman of Teflon seeks man of steel for non stick relationship!
• I didn`t do it… And I`ll never do it again!
• Actually I`m quite humble… Which is rare for people with my talent!
• If you want a stable relationship... Get a horse!
• I need someone really bad...Are you really bad?
• I`m not a complete idiot...Some parts are missing!
• If at first you do succeed...Try not to look astonished!
• Due to budget cuts...The light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off!
• I have the body of a God...Buddha!
• With a body like mine… Who needs hair?
• Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult!
• WARNING-Horses can seriously damage your wealth!
• Mummy`s Boy
• Daddy`s Girl
• Simple country Boy
• Simple country
• Take my advice… I don`t need it!
• Ride it like you stole it!
• Country Bumpkin
• Young Farmer
• On stud duty
• Fine Filly
• Unpaid help
• I`d rather be Riding!
• I`d rather be Fishing!
• I`d rather be shooting!
• I`d rather be drinking!
• Drink Triple… See Double… Act  Single!
• Pedigree Bitch!
• No Pressure!
• Real girls ride!
• Nobody listens to me until I fart!
• Warning-Dangerous gases below!
• Incontinence hotline… Can you please hold!
• Wink... I`ll do the rest!
• Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder!
• If you can`t dazzle `em with brilliance...Blind `em with bullshit!
• Bucked off!
• Don`t cha wish your girlfriend could ride like me!
• Men are idiots… And I married their King!
• Constipated people don`t give a crap!
• Hillbillies love it in the hay!
• I may be a cruel heartless bitch… But I`m damn good at it!
• Exotic bird… On the hunt for a cockatoo!
• Heaven is… 16 hands between your legs!
• I want to be just like Barbie… That bitch has everything!
• If I wanted to hear from an arsehole… I`d fart!
• Sorry guys...Size does matter!
• There are no small penises...Just big vaginas!
• If you smoke after sex, you`re doing it to fast!
• Who lit the fuse on your tampon?
• To all you virgins...Thanks for nothing!
• If sex is a pain in the ass, then you`re doing it wrong!
• If you don`t believe in oral sex...Keep your mouth shut!
• Impotence...Nature`s way of saying “No hard feelings”!
• Practice safe sex...Go screw yourself!
• Young chick seeks old cock!
• It`s not the length of the wand, but the magic in the stick!
• I`m so gay… I can`t think straight!